Survey

via frog

1. Who was your first prom date? I never went with a date, but I did go with a group of girls my senior year. Half of us have since come out.
2. Who was your first roommate(s)? This strange girl from VA. Then my good friend Lynette followed by my good friend Judith.
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink the first time you got drunk? red wine
4. What was your first job? pet sitting and then JCPenney
5. What was your first car? ford focus
6. When did you go to your first funeral? my babysitter when I was six
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? 18
8. Who was your first grade teacher? Miss H
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Chicago when I was ten
10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I never snuck out. I didn’t have a curfew so there really wasn’t any reason.
11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? Robyn and yes but we never see each other anymore
12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house? College dorm room
13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? my sister
14. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid/groomsman? I was a flower girl in some friend of my parents' daughter's wedding when I was five. My best friend was the ring bearer. My parents and his planned for us to get married to each other for some time after that, I think. Then we both came out and put a stop to that fantasy.
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? play with the fuzzy girl
16. What was the first concert you ever went to? I grew up going to concerts. My dad plays in this local symphonic band. My favorite one since then, though, was the Inidgo Girls a couple years ago.
17. First tattoo or piercing? My ears two months ago :)
18. First celebrity crush? Oh, this is embarrassing. Tiger Lily in Mary Martin's Peter Pan
19. Age of first kiss? 23
20. First crush? I don’t remember ever not having crushes. I had a crush on my best friend in elementary school, though. Her name was Becky.
21. First time you did drugs? I’ve never done drugs.

Fun :)

I hung out with my people for a while tonight. It was fabulous. We watched movies that are so wrong I'm too embarrassed to admit which ones they were in this space. And it was fun. I am now sporting a button that says "Second Class Citizen." It is one of my people's ways of fighting against the anti-gay amendment. And I can get more if anyone's interested. And there are even some that say "Friend of a Second Class Citizen," "Relative of a Second Class Citizen," and "Parent of a Second Class Citizen." They're free. Just let me know. Oh, and I should probably warn any anti-pink dykes out there, they are pink.

Now I'm home with my furbaby curled up in my lap purring, feeling like everything is all right with the world. It has been a very good day.

P.S. I have a hot date this weekend. Possible details will follow. Maybe.

Theses and Other Exciting Animals

So I finally bought the book to learn how to format my thesis. At this point, I'm thinking it doesn't look like it will be too bad. I'm sure there will be hysterical points before I turn it in, but at least I'm calm at the moment.

I'm kind of excited by how good it looks at the moment. I'm kind of proud of it, too. I've worked hard on it, and I hope it shows. I had a couple hours of insecurity last night when I decided to read part of it at an open mic night. I always feel insecure at those things. My poetry is just so different from a lot of what gets read in coffee shops. Last night was no different. I wanted to disappear under my chair when I got finished reading.

Despite last night, I am at the point where I would like to share the work more among my friends. So if you haven't seen it and you want to, let me know. I'll email it to you.

Poem

cutting greens
by lucille clifton

curling them around
i hold their bodies in obscene embrace
thinking of everything but kinship.
collards and kale
strain against each strange other
away from my kissmaking hand and
the iron bedpot.
the pot is black.
the cutting board is black,
my hand,
and just for a minute
the greens roll black under the knife,
and the kitchen twists dark on its spine
and i taste in my natural appetite
the bond of live things everywhere.

Angelia

This evening, my friend Naomi's mother, Angelia, died. She had been sick for quite a while with both lupus and lung cancer. Angelia was a special person. She used to come and stay with Naomi on campus about once a semester. Not many mothers at my school did this, but Angelia was cool and we liked having her around. She was young at heart in a good way. She always asked each of us all about our lives and always remembered small details in a way that made us all feel special. I strive to be like that, too. She was a good model of what a mother should be and what a Christian should look like. I know Naomi and Cory and Robert will miss her a lot. I hope they know how much their mother loved them and how much they are loved during this time of grief. Also, if you have any prayers to spare, I know they would appreciate it.

CV

I'm putting mine together at the moment. I really need suggestions for it. And perhaps someone to read it and let me know if it's okay. I have decided that I want to live somewhere else. I like this town, but I've been really stir crazy lately. There are various reasons for this, most of which involve staying home too much. At any rate, I'm applying for a job on the other side of the country. I would make like twice as much there as I would if I stayed here. And it would be warmer. Not more liberal, though. Perhaps less liberal, which I'm not sure about. Either way, it's temporary. We shall see what happens, of course.

My Church Rocks

http://365gay.com/Newscon06/03/032706commercial.htm

Unfortunately, this nation seems to thrive on discrimination. At least that's what the major television networks seem to think. What exactly is offensive about advertising that everyone is welcome at a certain church? I love my church, and I'm glad they are making commercials. I hope someday the television networks have the courage to air them.

Bored

1. How many keys are on your keychain? ten

2. What makeup do you wear on a daily basis? does chapstick count?

3. Is your AIM away message on? yes. it says something like, "at school."

4. If you could eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? how boring. probably tortellini with pesto sauce

5. What curse word do you use the most? shit, probably

6. Do you own an iPod? no

7. Who on your Myspace "Top 8" do you talk to the most? Jaime

8. What time is your alarm clock set for right now? it's not

9. How many suitcases do you own? three, i think. two big and one carryon

10. Do you wear flip-flops even when it's cold outside? yes

11. Where do you buy your groceries from? i go where the sales are.

12. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? take the picture

13. What was the last movie you watched? Awakenings. I didn't really care for it.

14. Do any of your friends have children? Yes

15. Has anyone ever called you lazy? yes

16. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? no, except for the first couple days i was in europe to help me adjust to the different time faster. thank you to my sister's french teacher for the suggestion.

17. What CD is currently in your CD player? Indigo Girls Indians Nomads Saints

18. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? regular

19. Has anyone told you a secret this week? i don't think so

20. When was the last time someone hit on you? yesterday

21. What did you have for dinner? yesterday i had beef and noodles

22. Do you wear hoodies often? Sometimes

23. What color is your car? red

24. Can you whistle? not as well as my grandfather, but yes

25. What is the first thing you see when you look to your left? an empty chalkboard and empty chairs (no, i'm not in class. i'm just at school in an empty room with a borrowed laptop being bored.)

26. Do you make your own jewelry? no

27. Have you ever participated in a protest? Yes. many times.

28. Who was the last person to call you? my mom

29. What is your favorite ride at cedar point? the race horses. i've never been a roller coaster person.

30. Which cartoons did you watch as a child? Smurfs, Get-Along Gang, Garfield and Friends

31. How big is your local mall? bigger than my hometown mall. does that make it big? i have no idea. I guess so.

32. What is your job title? graduate student and teaching assistant

33. How many siblings do you have? one

34. When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt? i don't remember. that's sad.

35. What movie do you know every line to? Princess Bride

36. Do you own any band t-shirt? yes

37. What is your favorite candle scent? pine

38. How many aunts and uncles do you have? 2 aunts and 2 uncles on my dad's side and three aunts and three uncles on my mom's side

39. When was your last plane ride? in February

40. Have you ever eaten snow? yes. with milk and sugar.

41. How many chairs are at your dining room table? one broken one at the moment. it sort of disintegrated. it's a pile of nuts and bolts. it's very sad.

42. What is your favorite salad dressing? italian

43. Can you speak any languages other than English? Spanish

44. Where is your cell phone? beside me on the desk

45. Do you do your own dishes? yes, but not often enough

46. What color is your bedroom painted? white

47. Are your parents divorced? No

48. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? desktop, although i'm currently on a laptop. my dream machine is an apple notebook.

49. Which do you make: wishes or plans? both

50. Are you always trying to learn new things? yes

51. What messenger programs do you have? aim, and i'm always online, so if you want to chat, i'll certainly pass along my online name

52. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? yes, a tattoo

53. Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date? i believe in dutch first dates or in the person who asks paying.

54. Can you skip rocks? yes

55. Have you ever been to Jamaica? no, but it sounds like fun

56. What do you like to snack on at the movie theatres? popcorn and iced tea or chocolate covered almonds

57. Who was your favorite teacher? in high school, my geometry teacher.

59. What is the weather like? bright and sunny

60. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? sure, why not

61. Do you have an online journal? um, yes

62. Did you ever play Capture the Flag in school? yes

63. What was your favorite class in high school? geometry, just because i liked the teacher

64. Do you enjoy traveling via airplanes? it gets me there faster, so sure.

65. What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex? i'm answering for the same sex, and i like a sense of awe in the world.

66. When was the last time you slept on the floor? i don't remember, oddly enough.

67. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? yellow tail red wine

68. Does your closest Starbucks have a drive-thru? yes

69. Do you like your living arrangement? yes

70. Has anyone ever called you spoiled? not that i know of, but who knows

71. What is your mother's hometown? irondale

72. Did you ever go to the same school as your parents? not as they attended, but they taught at my middle school and at my high school

73. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 7-8

74. Do you eat breakfast daily? usually

75. What was the last thing to scare you? i don't know. probably my school bill.

76. Do you own a Playstation? no

77. How many pairs of shoes do you own? five or six pairs?

78. Are your days full and fast-paced? sometimes. not today.

79. Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class? no, but i've gotten in trouble for not talking in class. or reading in class.

80. Is there carpet, wood or tile in the room you're currently in? carpet

81. Were you a "planned" child?um, i think so.

82. What is your favorite fruit? kiwi, raspberries

Immigration

I heard Bush speak today on immigration reform. He proposes making illegal immigrants felons. He also wants to make illegal immigrants go back home before they apply for legal status. I have so many issues with these ideas that it's hard to know where to begin.

A few years ago, I worked at a small town newspaper, and I interviewed a Haitian man who needed to stay in the United States because of a death threat against his wife and children if they returned. His wife was a very outspoken radio personality who had spoken against the wrong group of people. This family was stalked and threatened continuously before they escaped to the United States. They were granted a temporary Visa, and both parents got very good jobs teaching and coaching in North Carolina. After a few years, they were told they could not stay in the United States any longer. They applied repeatedly for asylum and were not granted it. I don't know what happened to them. When I moved across country to go to graduate school, they were still caught in red tape with only a month or two before they would be deported.

As a teacher, I have had several children of migrant workers in class. All of these students came to the United States as illegal immigrants. All of their parents just wanted to make things better for their children. All of the children started working in the fields when they were very small for a very small amount of money each day. These young women (they have all been women) worked very hard in my class. They had to. They wanted a better life, too. I would take these students any day of the week, yet this country is trying to deny them the right to a better life here.

Bush is right in one thing: the current policies to deal with illegal immigrants aren't working. Too many people are dying each year trying to cross the border or in the desert after they have made it across. His proposal is to make them felons. Is he serious? Does he really think this will stop people? Does he really think making people apply for temporary work visas here will make the sweat shop owners here stop using illegal immigrants? Certainly there has to be a better way to deal with the problems with immigration in this country, but his ideas aren't it.

Perhaps he should try a compassionate approach, like punishing the sweat shop owners and not their workers to try to help the workers get ahead in this country. We are a country of immigrants, and we should be more welcoming. I don't have much in the way of ideas for solutions, but I do know wrong solutions when I see them.

If only it weren't so cold

I hear Minnesota is a great place to live.

Grr

You try and try to tell these people, but do they listen? No!

New Haircut

It's supposed to look like this, but of course, I don't look like her. But anyway, if you're wondering roughly what it looks like, this is it. Sort of. At any rate, I like it, and I'm discovering the intensely complex world of hair gel. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet, but I'll let you know.

Fuzzy Child Picture

Isn't she adorable? She's my baby girl, showing off her cuteness. She looks very much like one of frog's fuzzy children, except that her cat has thumbs. I have more pictures, but this is the only one I have at school. I will post more later :)

Princess Mononoke, Part II

I am currently rewatching this movie, and I have one more important point to make about it. None of the characters are totally good or totally bad. The character development is exceptional. All of the characters are sympathetic at some point. Miyazaki really shows the depth of each character in a very short amount of space, and he does it beautifully. I'm deeply impressed. I'm going to have to buy this movie eventually. I love it.

Old Friends

I have recently gotten back in touch with a woman I went to school with as an undergrad. We lost touch after graduation, and I found her again on myspace, which I have greatly enjoyed. Since we both graduated, we have both come out and gone to graduate school. She's a pretty amazing person. I remember her singing as an undergrad, and sure enough, she's still singing :) She has a beautiful voice. She isn't out to her family yet, and we've been talking about that a lot. It's just so nice to chat with her again. I love reconnecting with people.

Princess Mononoke

Rating: *****

I never thought I would get into anime, but I love Hiyao Miyazaki's work. More than his animation, I love his stories. He is very environmentally conscious, and this seems to make an appearance somehow in all of his work. The message in Princess Mononoke is that humans and the forest must live in harmony.

The movie is long, but it is enthralling. There are three wonderfully strong female characters. San is my favorite. She is a woman who was raised by wolves and who considers herself to be a wolf. She works to protect the forest and the animals from the invasion of humans and their violence.

It is an impressive movie. I highly recommend it.

Nervous

I just submitted my thesis. I still have to write the intro (abstract?), but the big part is done. That's a load off. I defend it on April 3. I'm really nervous. Then I have to format it. I'm accepting all good wishes and prayers.

Spamku

Or haikus about Spam. Go. Be amused.

A tempting bite:

Tied down, forced to eat
a frozen SPAM popsicle.
Mother of nightmares.

Survey

9 lasts

-last place you were: school
-last cigarette: never
-last beverage: hot tea
-last hug: Monday night (my crush :)
-last movie seen: O Brother, Where Art Thou?
-last phone call: Rennick
-last cd played: Indigo Girls Indians Nomads Saints
-last bubble bath: don't remember
-last time you cried: don't remember

8 have you evers.

-have you ever dated someone twice: no
-have you ever been cheated on: no
-have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it? yes
-have you ever fallen in love: yes
-have you ever lost someone: yes
-have you ever been depressed: yes
-have you ever been drunk and thrown up: no

7 states you’ve been to:

1. NC
2. SC
3. VA
4. GA
5. FLA
6. TN
7. KY

6 things you've done today.

1. Taught sonnets
2. listened to a presentation on Denise Levertov
3. did a crossword puzzle
4. asked someone out for a second date
5. finished the L Word season two
6. cut class

5 favorite things

1. family
2. friends
3. my cat
4. tea
5. L Word

4 people you can tell pretty much anything to (hey, almost anything...)

1. my sister
2. Rennick
3. Josh
4. Judith

3 favorite colors

1. blue
2. purple
3. yellow

2 things you want to do before you die

1. parent a child
2. travel everywhere

1 thing you regret.

1. the way my last relationship ended

Survey

1. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with?
no

2. Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
when we were really little. there are pictures.

3. What did you do when you weren't in school in the 2nd grade?
played outside, read constantly, climbed trees

5. Do you like more than one person right now?
like as in have a crush on, no. like as in like, yes

6. Are you against same sex marriage?
No

7. Did you vote for Bush?
no

8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
probably home, but I really don't know.

9. Have you dry humped any of your myspace friends?
um, no

10. Are most of your friends guys or girls?
girls

11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
who?

12. Last book you read?
The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis--I have some serious issues with it that I'll blog about eventually.

13. If you could have one super power what would it be?
either invisibility or the ability to fly

14. Where have you lived most of your life?
midwest

15. What was the last conversation you had about?
about my sister's summer job

16. Where do you see yourself in four years?
in a tenure track creative writing teaching job, with a partner and getting ready to have a kid

17. What's your favorite smell?
fresh cutted grass

18. What is your favorite sound?
banjo music or gospel music on the piano (of course, I'm watching O Brother, Where Art There? at the moment)

19. Are you moody?
sometimes, I imagine

21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your classmate?
I hope not

22. Have you ever gone to therapy?
yes, and I highly recommend it

23. Have you ever Played Spin the bottle?
I don't know.

24. Have you ever Toilet papered someone's house?
yes, more than once

25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
yes

26. Have you ever gone camping?
yes, I love it.

27. Have you ever had a crush on your brother's friend?
I don't have a brother.

28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach?
yes. it wasn't intentional, but it was a learning experience (mainly I learned that sunbathing naked causes really awful sunburns in places you don't want sunburns).

29. Have you ever gone streaking?
no

30. Have you ever had a stalker?
I hope not

31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
not yet

32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
yes

33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober person?
yes

34. Have you ever been in love?
Yes

35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend?
not that I remember

36. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Yes

37. Have you ever been out of the US?
yes. I backpacked through Europe and studied abroad in Costa Rica.

38. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
Yes

39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
no. I did cut my own hair once when I was seven, though, and I had very uneven pigtails for a couple of days.

40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places?
yes

41. Last song you listened to?
Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side...

42. Have you ever spied on someone?
probably, but not that I remember

43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers?
no

44. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons?
not wash spoons for a while

45. Who was the last person who called you?
Rennick

46. When was the last time you slept for more then 12 hours straight?
I have no idea. Probably when I was sick.

47. Have you ever been arrested?
no

48. Most embarassing CD you own?
I have this really awful gospel CD that I got free somewhere several years ago. I can't give it away. It's that bad.

49. Have you ever stolen anything?
I don't think so.

50. Have you ever drank egg nog?
yes

Angst

This paints a perfect picture, doesn't it? I love Audre Lorde.

Hanging Fire
by Audre Lorde

I am fourteen
and my skin has betrayed me
the boy I cannot live without
still sucks his tumb
in secret
how come my knees are
always so ashy
what if I die
before the morning comes
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.

I have to learn how to dance
in time for the next party
my room is too small for me
suppose I de before graduation
they will sing sad melodies
but finally
tell the truth aout me
There is nothing I want to do
and too much
that has to be done
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.

Nobody even stops to think
about my side of it
I should have been on Math Team
my marks were better than his
why do I have to be
the one
wearing braces
I have nothing to wear tomorrow
will I live long enough
to grow up
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.

Surveys are Fun :)

Several questions omitted for being weird.

1. What's your name: VioletEmily
2. What do you wish your name was, instead: I like my name..
4. Would you ever eat sushi? Yes, and I have.
5. Would you ever eat sushi off a naked body? Sure. Could be fun.
6. Have you considered homosexuality? Is that the kind of thing you really consider? You either are or you're not. And yes, I'm gay.
7. What's your sexual preference? I like girls a lot.
8. What were you in a past life? a pirate
11. What's your favorite coffee? from my favorite coffee shop with lots of milk
12. What's your political perspective? very liberal Democrat, at least that's how I vote. I'm really green.
13. Are you my Angel? Didn't Ginsberg ask that?
14. Do you consider yourself a poet? yes
15. What do you wanna be when you grow up? Happy.
22. What's your favorite fruit? kiwi
26. What do you think about contemporary art? Love it. Don't always understand it, but love it anyway.
27. Do you like being naked? In the right circumstances
28. If we had proof God didn't exist, what would happen?: Would anything change?
29. Do you enjoy cheeze whiz? No
30. What's your position on virginity? It works for a while.
31. On civil unions: Marriage is good. Let's all have marriage.
36. Are you left handed or right handed? Right.
37. Are you smart? I think so.
40. How many piercings do you have? Just my ears.
41. What was your first word? Daddy and then kitty
42. Are you superstitious? no. I own a black cat who is currently snuggled up on my lap. Not superstitious at all.
43. Do you read your horoscope? Sometimes.
44. Do you believe in that stuff? No
45. Can you do a cartwheel? No
46. Do you have contact lenses? No
47. Do you have a retainer or braces? not anymore
48. Can you drive? Yes
49. Do you snore? sometimes
50. Do you drool in your sleep? sometimes
51. Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge? lick them
52. Do you keep a journal? yes, both online and in handwriting
53. Do you like onions? yes, but not as much as I used to. This is a good thing.
54. Do you like cotton candy? yes
55. What instruments can you play? French horn and a little piano.
56. Do you like to dance? yes, but I'm terrible, but it's fun.
57. Do you like to sing? yes
58. Are you any good at it? you'll have to ask the people sitting next to me in choir. I certainly wouldn't give me a solo or anything...
59. Do you like to talk on the phone? no. I hate it, actually.
60. Do you like where you live? eh, it's okay
61. Are you organized? not usually
62. Do you sleep with socks on? sometimes
63. Are you shy? yes
64. Do you talk to yourself? probably too much
65. Are you a morning person? no
66. Are you a virgin? No.
67. Are you proud of that? Proud? I don't really think it's a thing that invites pride or shame. It's just a fact.
68. Do you believe in reincarnation? Good question. I'll have to get back to you on that one. Right now at this moment, sort of.
69. Do you believe in God? yes
72. How old do you wish you were? 26 is fine. I don't think I've ever wished I was a different age.
73. What will you name your daughter? Laurelyn Erin or Gloria Lorraine
74. Son? Daniel or Joshua or maybe Daniel Joshua or Joshua Daniel
75. Have you ever thought you were gonna die? yes
76. Where do you want to go? Everywhere.

Ever...
1. Been kissed? Yes.
2: Done drugs? No
3: Eaten an entire box of Oreos? No
4: Been on stage? yes, in a missionary costume
5: Dumped someone else? yes
6: Gotten in a car accident? yes
7: Watched "Punky Brewster"? yes
8: Been in love? Yes.

Favorites...
9: Shampoo: currently coconut Suave
10: Toothpaste: ultrabrite
11: Soap: anything antibacterial
12: Type of soup: Broccoli Cheese.
13: Room in your house: living room
14: Instrument: oboe and baritone
Either/Or..
15: Coffee or hot chocolate? coffee
16: Big or little? whatever
17: Lace or satin? lace
18: New or old? depends
22: Jeans or cords? both
23: Sweater or sweatshirt? currently my favorite shirt is a sweater
24: T-shirt or tank top? t-shirt
25: Skirt or dress? neither. ever.
26: Wool or cotton? Cotton
27: Rose or Lily? sunflowers
28: The way it is or the way it was? The way it could be.
29: Oldies or pop? whatever
30: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No.
31: Do you have a best friend? yes, several
In the last 24 hours, have you...
32: Cried? no
33: Helped someone? yes
34: Bought something? lunch
35: Gotten sick? No.
36: Gone to the movies? No.
37: Gone out for dinner? lunch
38: Said "I love you"?: Yes.
39: Written a real letter? no
40: Moved on? yes
41: Talked to an ex? no
42: Missed an ex? I do sometimes. Mostly I wonder how she is doing, and I pray for her.
43: Written in a journal? Yes.
44: Talked to someone you have a crush on? yes
45: Had a serious talk? Yes.
46: Missed someone? Yes, my sister
47: Hugged someone? yes
48: Fought with your parents? no
49: Fought with a friend? No.

Do you.....
50: Wear eye shadow? rarely
52: Kiss on the first date? Sometimes
53: Have a crush on someone? yes
54: Eat with your mouth open? No
55: If you got a tattoo, where would you get it, and what would it be? an arm band with sunflowers or a lower back tattoo of a black cat
56: What color is your floor/carpet in your room? tan
57: What was the last CD you bought? Indigo Girls Rarities
58: How did you spend last summer? with my ex who was my fiance then
59: When's the last time you showered? last night
60: Are you tired? yes
61: Are you lonely? sometimes
62: Are you happy? yes
63: Are you wearing pajamas? not yet
64: Are you talking to someone online? not at the moment
65: What are the initials of your crush/interest/spouse? JM
66: What is your astrological sign? Pisces

Stepping Stones

The summer after I graduated from college, I got a job working for a Christian group in a national park. In particular, I worked along the Blue Ridge Parkway. It's beautiful there. If you haven't been yet, perhaps you should consider it for your next vacation :) PM me if you want to know good spots :) At any rate, the job involved leading a Christian church service at one of the nearby campgrounds each Sunday morning. In addition to this job, I also worked at this country club lodge that was nearby. The two jobs could not have been more different.

The Sunday morning job was awesome. I love meeting new people and sitting and talking to them about just about anything. That was the best part of the job. Plus I got to use my writing since I did the preaching every week. It is a very humbling job to speak to so many people week after week, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I had several regular people at the services, which surprised me. I expected a new crowd every week, but several people from the nearby towns came frequently, too. The result was that I got to know several people quite well as the summer wore on. It was really neat to develop relationships of sorts with people from all different church backgrounds or even non-church backgrounds in a few cases. It was cool.

My other job involved kissing the asses of these whiney rich people (stress the whiney) who really had no clue how the other half lived. I frequently spent my hours at the job immensely pissed off. This particular country club hosts some of the wealthiest white Protestant Republicans in the country. I won't go into details, but one was involved in a pretty severe anti-women case the summer I worked there. Others were retired Congressmen (never women) and judges from very high courts. For the most part, these people were not nice. They were mysogynistic, homophobic racists. They also had their very own exclusionary churches by the lodge, and they were really more or less incapable of running them. They even had the front desk of the lodge count their offerings because they were just beyond doing that themselves.

That summer did more to shape my political beliefs, and as a result my religious beliefs, than anything I had experienced so far. I hadn't realized people like the ones at the country club actually existed until then, and it pissed me off that they did. I moved even further left than I already was and really began to appreciate Jesus' messages calling for the care of the poor. I really became a "social justice" Christian because of that summer, and for that reason alone, I'm grateful to that country club.

Stepping Stones

I had a really disturbing conversation last night, and I decided to do a series of posts not really in response to it but because of it. The conversation was with a young gay woman who sees her sexuality as a sin. She was raised in a church that sounds like it was very fundamentalist and is herself a fundamentalist, or so it seems. At any rate, the conversation got me thinking about my own faith and how I began to think beyond the confines of the faith I was raised in. These thoughts are not going to be in any particular order nor are they all going to appear today. Just so you know.

"Caliban Upon Setebos"

In my second year of college, I took a class in Victorian literature from a woman named Dr. Land. In that class, we read several different essays and poems from people who viewed their faith in different ways. One of the poems that has stuck with me is "Caliban Upon Setebos" by Robert Browning. In that poem, Caliban, from Shakespeare's The Tempest, contemplates his god, Setebos. He sees Setebos as very cruel and unforgiving, just as Caliban is cruel and unforgiving. In other words, he is seeing Setebos as an extention of himself. He is viewing Setebos in human terms. In reality, Setebos was probably nothing like Caliban, but Caliban was unable to remove him from his little box. He couldn't see him as anything beyond his own terms. This stuck with me because it was an idea that I had been trying desperately to articulate for some time. I got really tired of hearing people try to define God in human terms. They seemed to think they knew exactly how God must feel about this or that when really all they had were a few vague biblical references with little or no context of any kind surrounding them. I don't see God as fitting into a neat little box. That is my problem with fundamentalism. People try to define God in human terms, and there doesn't seem to be any room for growth. There also doesn't seem to be any room for God. I also think it is pretty presumptuous to claim to know exactly what God thinks about this or that. I see defining God in human terms as limiting God, if that is possible, and it also limits ourselves. I guess I want to leave myself open to be able to see miracles when they happen, in whatever way God presents them, whether if fits in a box or not.

In Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies, she talks about a woman who was raised in a very fundamentalist church and a gay man who was dying of AIDS. In the middle of one service, the woman was suddenly overcome with emotion and understanding of the man as one of God's children, and she went to him and embraced him and held him up as they sang hymns together. This was a miracle, and it fits in my image of God. It shows how one woman was able to open her God box and let God be whoever God is.

Sad

I just got back from meeting a very remarkable young woman. When she was 14 years old, her parents found out that she is gay and threw her out of the house. She was basically homeless, just living with various friends and family members all through high school. Yes, she still went to high school and even graduated. She is now 18. She is not in college yet, but she dreams about continuing her education. Her parents should be slapped. They really lost out on having a wonderful daughter.

L Word: Season Two

So the story line with the straight male roommate and his hidden cameras is creepy. What on earth could the writer have been thinking? It's stupid. It's cliche. And dammit, it's disturbing.

I am currently watching disc two. Shane is hot. So is Carmen. Carmen and Jenny do not make a good couple. Yuck, in fact. I have never likded Jenny, though. I have to admit that she's better this season, though. She's a tad more tolerable, although I still don't see the appeal. The short haircut is better, though. I actually like the Dana-Alice pairing. I was skeptical, I admit, but they're cute. I like Alice a lot. Tina gets on my nerves. I didn't particularly care for her last season either, though. I still like Kit, but the guy they have her with...yuck. I like the Kit-Bette relationship (they're sisters). It's nice to see them really talk in this season. I totally buy the sister thing now.

At any rate, if you haven't seen it and you're a lesbian or bisexual woman, rent it. It's fun.

Why I Chose to Be Medicated

I have been thinking a lot about this in the last few months. In December, I mentioned to someone dear to me that perhaps she should consider medication. Perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut because her reaction was so negative. I hadn't realized until then that she saw my needing medication as a weakness.

Needing medication is not a weakness. Needing medication and not being able to admit it is, in my opinion. It takes a lot of vulva to be able to admit that you need some help, that there is no way on God's green earth that you're going to be able to get your donkeys in a circle without it.

I started medication a little over a year ago, and I have not regreted it. Not for a minute. It took a major crisis for me to realize that I really couldn't stand myself most of the time and that I needed to do something about my anxiety. Luckily I had a wonderful counselor who agreed and has been very supportive. Since then, I've been able to see my life more clearly. I've also been able to see myself in a different light, which is a good thing. I had very high social anxiety before I started medication, and I've been a lot better since last spring. I'm not a hermit anymore. I love to go out and hang out with people. I've made a lot of new friends, which is awesome. I've gotten more involved in my church. I've gone out on several dates in the last couple of months. It's been wonderful. I know I would not be at this point without the medication.

So if you are reading and you are considering medication, I encourage you to look into it. It's a good thing.*

* Here ends Emily's commercial for mental health medication.

10 Things You May or May Not Know about Me

In no particular order

10. My sister is the most amazing person I know. She's kind and thoughtful and extremely talented and cool. I can tell her anything, and she will hear me.

9. I currently have 14 kinds of tea on my shelf. I have recently been swapping teas with a friend and have doubled my collection through that. I love tea.

8. I think of myself as a Buddhist Christian. I can't explain it any farther than that, though, so please don't ask. I'll post more when I can articulate it or even make it make sense to myself.

7. I am a follower of the Virgin of Guadalupe, not as she is defined by the church but as she is re-interpreted by Sandra Cisneros and Cherrie Moraga.

6. I used to consider myself a Republican. I couldn't justify it. I just didn't really know any different. My entire home county is made up of Republicans, and my mother is very tight-lipped about her liberal political beliefs.

5. I love to drive. I could spend days and days just driving cross country and be very much at peace.

4. I give copies of Mary Oliver's New and Selected Poems to dates because liking Mary Oliver shows a sense of awe in simple things. I like that in a person.

3. My favorite day of the year is December 26, the day of my grandmother's Christmas party. I look forward to it all year. This past year, my ex asked me to skip it to visit her earlier, and I cried for days. I did not skip it. I just could never articulate to her how important it was to me. I know that the person I end up marrying will look forward to visiting her family as much as I look forward to visiting mine.

2. I am out to just about everyone in my life, and it is a relief. I was closeted last summer for various reasons, and that was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was for good reasons. However, I got used to it, and that frightened me. I was really shocked to return home and realize that everyone knows that I am gay and that it's perfectly okay. I'd gottten used to the shame and fear. I'm not sure that I would or even could put myself through that again. I like being out.

1. I like public displays of affection (you know, holding hands and such).

and one to grow on :) I really want a tattoo.

Haircut

Well, if there was ever any doubt as to my sexual orientation, there will not be anymore. I just got my hair cut, and I love it. If you are familiar with the L Word, it's the same cut Shane has in the second season. I'll post a picture of Shane's cut (because I don't have a digital camera to post a picture of my own) and a picture of my beautiful fuzzy child next time I am at school (because my computer is too old to handle such an enormous task from home).

Survey

via Reagan whose blog you may not read

8 HAVE YOU EVERS

Have you ever dated one of your best friends?: yes
Have you ever skinny dipped?: not yet
Have you ever kissed someone and regretted it?: yes
Have you ever fallen in love?: yes
Have you ever lost someone you loved?: yes
Have you ever been depressed?: yes
Have you ever been drunk and threw up?: no

7 States You Have Been To:

1. Ohio
2. North Carolina
3. Washington
4. Idaho
5. Wyoming
6. Georgia
7. South Carolina

6 Things You Have Done Today:

1. taught meter and rhyme
2. encouraged a student
3. met someone cool from a message board
4. watched "L Word"
5. mailed things
6. had a cup of tea


5 Favorite things, In No Order:

1. hanging out with my sister
2. playing with my cat
3. watching movies
4. poetry
5. women


4 People You Can Tell pretty much Anything To:

1. my sister
2. Josh
3. Jodi
4. Rennick


3 Wishes:

1. a really nice girl to marry
2. a job teaching poetry in college that comes with benefits
3. to see one of my sister's big events


2 Things You Want To Do Before You Die:

1. Travel the world
2. Parent a child


1 Thing You Regret:

1. Not coming out a whole lot sooner than I did


LAST

1. Person you saw: T
2. Person you hugged: Susan
3. Instant messaged: Jaime
4. Texted: none, although probably the last person who tried to text me was Annie. however, I don't have text.


FIRST

1. Love: Angie
2. Best friend: Robyn
3. School: J Elementary
4. Job: JC Penney
5. Obsession: Babysitters Club books

TODAY

1. What are you doing? thinking about taking a nap
2. What are you wearing? jeans and a flannel shirt


TOMORROW

1. Got any plans?: class, homework, laundry
2. Dislikes about tomorrow: none

FAVORITE

1: Number: 7
2: Song: anything Rent
3. Color: blue

And this seems to sum up my life somehow. . .

Emily -- [adjective]: Smelling like turnips at all times 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Some Days I Love My Job

Today I had a very cool female student stay after class to talk to me about her writing. This student does not have very much confidence, which is sad because her writing is so wonderful. In fact, she is by far the best writer in the class. She blows everyone else away. This student is so shy that she cannot look me in the eye when she talks to me. She reminds me of myself in a lot of ways. At any rate, she stayed after class to talk about a certain poem that no one in the class understood. The poem was absolutely amazing. The sound in it was brilliant and subtle, and the theme was not obvious. This worked in the poem's favor. It was a fantastic poem. My student was upset that the class didn't understand it. She didn't need to be, and I told her so. At any rate, she is thinking about transferring to a school with a great creative writing program for undergraduates. I gave her a list of schools that I think are good, and I'm gladly accepting other options if you all know of any. Please let me know. I'm also compiling a list of very contemporary poets for her. I am going to include this list here, and I'm gladly accepting additions to it. Seriously.

Schools:
Warren Wilson
University of Montana
Anywhere in Ann Arbor
University of Georgia
University of Alabama
Boise State University
Eastern Washington University
Hollins College

Poets:
Anne Carson
Joyelle McSweeney
Lyn Hejinian
Catherine Wagner
Michael Palmer
D.A. Powell
Brigitte Byrd
Ed Allen
Muriel Ruykeiser (spelling?)
Linda Gregg
Fence Magazine
any books published by Fence or recently by Ahsahta
Eleni Sikelianos
Stefanie Marlis
Joe Wenderoth
Harryette Mullen
Kathleen Fraser
Allen Ginsberg

Any suggestions from my readers?

Speaking of Journeys

The Silver Chair
by C.S. Lewis

This book is also about a journey. It is not as emotional as the journey in Transamerica, but it is still a noble journey. Jill and Eustace, the children in the story, return to Narnia and are given the task by Aslan to find Prince Rilian and return him to Narnia. They join forces with a Marsh-Wiggle named Puddleglum who tries to keep them out of trouble. The kids encounter giants, a witch, and underground people. The story is great, although more predictable than any of the other books so far. It was way too predictable, in my opinion. The element of surprise was zero.

Transamerica

Rating: *****

This movie is fantastic. It's even better than I thought it would be. It's about a pre-op transsexual woman who finds out she fathered a son without knowing it. The boy's mother is dead, and the boy is in jail on the other side of the country. Her therapist refuses to give her the go-ahead on her surgery until she deals with her son. So she gets on a plane to New York and ends up driving the boy cross-country. They get to know each other very well on the trip, and eventually the boy finds out that the woman driving him is his mother (he thought she was a missionary). It's a wonderful movie about in-between places, wilderness experiences as my pastor called it this morning. It's a story about a journey. It is a fantastic movie, and I highly recommend it.

Dyke in a Choir Robe

I joined the church choir. I'm extremely excited about it. I sang for the first time today. It was a lot of fun. I've missed singing in a group. I haven't done that in a while. I sang in choir all through high school and then had a brief stint as a member of the Gospel choir in college. I loved that but ended up not having time for all the rehearsals.

I've been really active lately, actually, which is why I haven't been here blogging my heart out as usual. On Thursday night, I volunteered at a local homeless shelter that my church is very involved with. It was an awesome experience. It was also a very heart-breaking experience. There were small children there with all of their relatives, from their parents to their great-grandparents. There were a couple of people who were severely schitzophrenic. They talked to several different people who were not physically present. There were also several people there who had severe problems with alcohol and drugs. There were a couple of college students who couldn't afford to both house themselves and go to college. There were also a number of people who worked full time and yet still couldn't afford to make ends meet. It snowed on Thursday, and the floor was filled with more people than the shelter had beds. At one point, someone brought a couple packages of new socks, and I have never seen such excitement with such a small offering. It was an experience I won't soon forget.

On Friday night, I went to hear a very well-known fiction writer read from her work. She was hilarious. I loved her. I don't own any of her books, but I will someday.

On Saturday morning, I began training for a new group in my church called the Pastoral Partners. Basically, I will keep track of five or so families or individuals and make sure that the church is aware of their needs. It will involve regular phone calls and emails and coffee. I'm really excited about being a part of the ministry and touched that they would have thought of me when they started recruiting people.

Saturday evening, I went out with a few friends to a restaurant, then to see Transamerica, which was awesome (the review will come soon), and then out for drinks at a bar. It was fun. I haven't had so much fun in a while.

Today I am cleaning my apartment because it is filthy and it stinks. I am also watching season two of the "L Word," which I absolutely adore. I just got disc one from netflix. I will be moving discs two, three, and four up just as soon as I mail this one back.

My dad, who is wonderful and kind, also sent me the new Harry Potter dvd as a surprise yesterday. I watched it right after church. It's great.

Quiz

The Picto-Personality Test You are a person who is incredibly tranquil and values peace above all else. When alone, you are introspective. You constantly reflect on your life and the world. You are laid back. Anything goes, with you. In the future you will have a good family life and lots of friends.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com

Vice?

Is it wrong to flirt shamelessly with the woman who works at the drive-thru window at Wendy's? She's really cute. And she flirts back. And she knows what I am going to order before I even open my mouth at the little speaker. I think I have officially become a regular. I need to break this habit. But she's so cute :) She reminds me of one of my good friends from college.

Fiction Blues

I have been working and slaving over a story that really sucks. It is a second draft, and I'm afraid that the first draft was much better. The second draft is not good, and it's due today. I'm going to go home now and work on it some more. Perhaps it is better than I think it is? They can't say it isn't revised at least. The only thing I left the same is the names of the characters. Is this good? I don't know. I feel like the first draft had a poetry that the second draft doesn't have. So I'm a bit concerned about it. The second draft has long scenes that the first draft didn't have, though. I need a happy medium between the two, somehow. Also I need to get to the meat of the story sometime before page seven. . . .

In Which Emily Learns that American DVD Players Don't Play British DVDs

Gah!

And the cover of Bad Girls even has my favorite soon-to-be lesbian couple kissing on it.

The agony! The pain! The frustration!

However, my sister may have a friend who will reburn the DVDs for me so that I can play them here. If that fails, I may have to buy a region-free DVD player online. They don't even sell them in this city. How frustrating is that?

Survey

First three omitted because they are pertinent only to MySpace users.

4. What's your current relationship status?
Single

5. What exactly are you wearing right now?
my workout pants and a huge sweater that I love

6. What is your current problem?
I don’t have a job with benefits lined up for next year. I do have a job lined up, though, so I guess that’s a start.

7. What do you love most?
my sister

8. What makes you most happy?
being in a room full of people that I love

9. Are you musically talented?
Yes. I play the French horn.

10. Are you a jealous person?
Sometimes

11. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
Probably how my last relationship ended, although I honestly think everything happens for the best.

12. What do you think of the person who posted this before you?
I don’t really know her, but we’ve just started exchanging emails.

13. Ever have a near death experience?
Yes

14. Name an obvious quality you have?
I am quiet.

15. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
I wish I were a nomad, and Indian, or a saint (it’s an Indigo Girls song)

16. Any celeb you would marry?
Marry is a little strong, but I would definitely go out with Mariska Hargitay from Law and Order SVU

17. Who will cut and paste this first?
who knows?

18. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
Apparently, there are a couple people from church with the same birthday.

19. Do you have a crush on someone?
Yes, of course. Life is boring without them.

20. Have you ever vandalized someone's property?
No

21. Have you ever been in a fight?
No

22. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yes. It wasn’t a pretty experience, just ask anyone who came to listen to me.

23. What's the first thing you notice about the same sex?
their smile and their eyes.

24. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
tall Awake tea

25. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
No

26. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
No

27. Say something totally random about you?
I hate to blow dry my hair

28. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
No

20. How old are you?
26

21. Do you wear a watch?
Yes

22. Do you have anything pierced?
My ears

23. Do you have any tattoos?
No

24. Do you like pain?
No

25. Do you like to shop?
Yes. I like to bargain shop and Christmas shop.

26. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
I have no idea. I rarely carry cash.

27. What was the last thing you paid for with a credit card?
dinner last night

28. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
my sister

29. What is on your desktop background?
Xena and Gabrielle embracing

30. What is on your cellphone background?
Whatever came with the phone--it’s a starry sky.

33. Do you like redheads?
Yes. My best friend is a redhead.

34. Do you know any twins?
I’ve had several twins in class.

35. Do you have any weird relatives?
Yes. I have a grandmother who insults everything that sits still long enough, and an aunt who is always mad at everyone.

36. What was the last movie you watched?
Intentions. It sucked. I don’t recommend it.

37. What was the last book you read?
I am currently reading The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis, Plan B by Anne Lamott, and Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde.

38. Did you or do you go to college?
Yes and yes.

39. What is your favorite pair of pants that you own?
a pair of jeans

40. Do you like to party?
Not really. I’ve outgrown it.

Emily's Oscar Picks

*Denotes my picks

Performance by an actor in a leading role

*Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Capote"
Terrence Howard in "Hustle & Flow"
Heath Ledger in "Brokeback Mountain"
Joaquin Phoenix in "Walk the Line"
David Strathairn in "Good Night, and Good Luck."

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
George Clooney in "Syriana"
Matt Dillon in "Crash"
Paul Giamatti in "Cinderella Man"
*Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback Mountain"
William Hurt in "A History of Violence"

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Judi Dench in "Mrs. Henderson Presents"
*Felicity Huffman in "Transamerica"
Keira Knightley in "Pride & Prejudice"
Charlize Theron in "North Country"
Reese Witherspoon in "Walk the Line"

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

Amy Adams in "Junebug"
Catherine Keener in "Capote"
Frances McDormand in "North Country"
Rachel Weisz in "The Constant Gardener"
*Michelle Williams in "Brokeback Mountain"
 
Best animated feature film of the year
*"Howl's Moving Castle"
"Tim Burton's Corpse Bride"
"Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit"

Achievement in art direction

"Good Night, and Good Luck."
"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"
"King Kong"
*"Memoirs of a Geisha"
"Pride & Prejudice"

Achievement in cinematography

"Batman Begins"
*"Brokeback Mountain"
"Good Night, and Good Luck."
"Memoirs of a Geisha"
"The New World"

Achievement in costume design

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"
*"Memoirs of a Geisha"
"Mrs. Henderson Presents"
"Pride & Prejudice"
"Walk the Line"

Achievement in directing

*"Brokeback Mountain" Ang Lee
"Capote" Bennett Miller
"Crash" Paul Haggis
"Good Night, and Good Luck." George Clooney
"Munich" Steven Spielberg

Best documentary feature

"Darwin's Nightmare"
"Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room"
*"March of the Penguins"
"Murderball"
"Street Fight"

Best documentary short subject

"The Death of Kevin Carter: Casualty Dan Krauss of the Bang Bang Club"
*"God Sleeps in Rwanda"
"The Mushroom Club"
"A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age Corinne Marrinan and Eric Simonson of Norman Corwin"

Achievement in film editing

"Cinderella Man"
*"The Constant Gardener"
"Crash"
"Munich"
"Walk the Line"

Best foreign language film of the year

"Don't Tell"
*"Joyeux Noël"
"Paradise Now"
"Sophie Scholl - The Final Days"
"Tsotsi"

Achievement in makeup

*"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"
"Cinderella Man"
"Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith"

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)

"Brokeback Mountain"
"The Constant Gardener"
"Memoirs of a Geisha"
"Munich"
*"Pride & Prejudice"

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
      
"In the Deep"
"It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp"
*"Travelin' Thru"

Best motion picture of the year

*"Brokeback Mountain"
"Capote"
"Crash"
"Good Night, and Good Luck."
"Munich"

Best animated short film

*"Badgered"
"The Moon and the Son: An Imagined John Canemaker and Peggy Stern Conversation"
"The Mysterious Geographic Explorations of Jasper Morello" 
"One Man Band"

Best live action short film

*"Ausreisser (The Runaway)"
"Cashback"
"The Last Farm"
"Our Time Is Up"
"Six Shooter"

Achievement in sound editing

"King Kong"
*"Memoirs of a Geisha"
"War of the Worlds"

Achievement in sound mixing

*"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"
"King Kong"
"Memoirs of a Geisha"
"Walk the Line"
"War of the Worlds"

Achievement in visual effects

*"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"
"King Kong"
"War of the Worlds"

Adapted screenplay

*"Brokeback Mountain"
"Capote"
"The Constant Gardener"
"A History of Violence"
"Munich"

Original screenplay

"Crash"
*"Good Night, and Good Luck."
"Match Point"
"The Squid and the Whale"
"Syriana"

Emily's Social Calendar

I'm feeling like quite the social butterfly lately. I have all kinds of plans this weekend, and I'm meeting all kinds of new people :) Tonight I'm going to a reading that I expect to be quite good. There will be an after party, hopefully with wine, that I will be going to.

Tomorrow and Sunday we're having marathon reading sessions for my publishing class. We have such a good class this year. It might actually be fun because we're all friends, and well, we're all fun ;). Plus the prof has promised food, and that is always a good thing.

My church is doing this great after church education piece during Lent that I'm going to start staying for, too. I'm excited about it.

I have recently met this girl who is extremely cool. It's odd because we have figured out that we actually met once before, we think last spring or fall. We went to a meeting of a local glbt group. I was an officer of it at the time. I left early that night because I had a stack of 101 essays to grade. The next day, I got an email from this girl asking me out. She was really cute, but I was dating someone at the time. I wrote her back and told her so and didn't think any more about it. All of a sudden, we've met again online and are planning to chat this weekend. It's just all sort of ironic. But cool :)

I'm also meeting a new friend for coffee on Monday. We post at the same feminist message boards and are amazed that there are two of us from the boards in this area. If any of my readers are interested in feminist message boards, drop me a line, and I'll give you the sites. They're cool places. I encourage you to try them :)

Grr

Ex-Gay Groups Target Teens and Children

These people are nuts. They're right, though. Homosexuality shows up early on in kids. Why? Because it's genetic, morons! And it's not something that can be changed with "conversion therapy." The only thing that really does is cause deep guilt and self-loathing in the child or teen.

A couple years ago, I had a friend commit suicide because he was gay. His family did not approve of his homosexuality on a religious basis. They made his life really hard. He had such a deep self-loathing because of his homosexuality. He could not change. Nor should he have even tried. When he found out he could not change, he sank into a deep depression and eventually killed himself. It was an unnecessary death. He was a beautiful person who should have had the freedom to be himself.

The suicide rate among gay teens is astronomical. Why? Because these programs do harm. People need to let their children be who they are.

Iris

Rating: ***

This movie is magnificently done. The acting is fantastic. Judi Dench, one of my favorite actors, is excellent. Did she win any awards for the performance? She plays a writer with Alzheimer's. The movie is thoroughly depressing, though. I've never seen a more depressing movie. Well, I probably have, but not for a while.