I'm never entirely sure what to say about Maundy Thursday. It's such an emotional service. I always end up being incredibly depressed afterward. I like the service at my church because it is first a seder meal and then a time of celebration of life and having made it through another year (this part includes learning traditional Jewish dances) and then we have the Weep Mary Weep service. I like the balance of the evening. I like being able to celebrate life and survival in the same service that we celebrate loss and betrayal. There is something that feels very real about that.
This is the second year that I participated in this service at my church. I actually joined my church on Palm Sunday last year, so this year has been a year of both good and bad anniversaries. (I also got engaged to my then girlfriend around Palm Sunday last year). Last year, I leaned more toward the celebration end of the spectrum for the service, but I really felt like I was able to fully appreciate the spectrum of emotions this year. I laughed, and I cried more than once.
It has been a hard week but not in the ways I thought it would be hard. It has also been a week of celebration, in ways I never thought I would experience. Most of all, it has been a week to reflect on how much I have been able to survive and move on. I'm a lot stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. It was wonderful to see that embedded in a single service.