Coming to a City Near You?

I am restless. I have been restless, but the restlessness really hit hard about a month ago. I'm ready for something new. I am in the process of sending out applications all over the United States in hopes that something will come of it. I'm largely feeling my way in the dark, though. They really should teach you how to do this application jazz in grad school, especially since many in my field end up applying in academia.

I have picked out a cat that I very much want. I've even named him. He's solid black like Ms. Emily. If I get him, I'll call him Mr. Rochester (staying with the Bronte theme). He's very sweet. The first time I held him, he reached his little neck up and bit the brim of my cap. Then he licked my nose. I love this little guy.

I'm tagging myself, darn it.

Total number of books owned: Couldn't tell you. I read a lot.

Last book bought: I just bought two books published by Fence Press and one by Verse Press. I honestly can't tell you the titles. I just saw them on the used bookshelf at Hastings and thought, huh, I've been wanting to read more new poetry.

Last book read: I'm re-reading the latest Harry Potter. I just re-read Coal by Audre Lorde so that I could talk about it intelligently with my students.

Five Books that Mean a Lot to You:
New and Selected Poems: Volume One by Mary Oliver
This Bridge Called My Back edited by Gloria Anzaldua and Cherrie Moraga
In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez
Woman Hollering Creek by Sandra Cisneros
The Best Christmas Pagent Ever by Barbara Robinson

I tag Bella and Erin.

New Semester

I'm just starting classes for this semester, and I have to say, I'm loving it. I have to poetry classes, one intro and one intermediate. In intermediate class, I have students knocking down the door to get in there. I think I've given out four permission numbers, today alone. I've had ten of them before in class, and I loved them, so I am really excited about the semester. I actually picked books based on what I thought this particular group would like, once I saw the number of students I knew in there. I had another student from last semester email me this evening and request a permission number. She was one of my favorites from last year, and I was thrilled to hear from her. It just put a button on my day.

In my English 102 classes, I'm trying something new. I'm doing a theme class on volunteerism and citizenship. I'm making them read everything from essays on Cesar Chavez and Martin Luther King to media analysis to gay rights to Soul of a Citizen by Loeb. I'm also making them volunteer 15 hours at one of a list of nine agencies over the semester. I was worried that that particular assignment would send them running for the door, but it hasn't. I haven't had one student drop yet. Woohoo! I think it's going to be a really fantastic semester.

On a somewhat related note, I am setting up a blog for my English 102 class where I will have links to all of their blogs about their volunteer experiences. I will also be writing about my volunteer experiences. If you are interested in reading about them, leave me a comment or send me an email and I will forward you the blog site. I am not going to post the link here because these blogs will reveal location and I rather like my anonymity here.

So it has been a really fantastic day, although I am completely exhausted. I am very excited about the possibilities this semester holds.

Which Harry Potter Character Are You?
	You are part Hermione. You're a bookworm always in search of answers. When pressed, however, you can always be counted on to put away the books and help your friends.
	You are part Dumbledore. You're the wise sage in any group. With your guidance, any situation can be resolved in the fairest way possible.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

[Spell your first name backwards] ylime
[The story behind your user name] it's my cat's name
[How old are you?] 27
[Date of birth] 2/20
[Where do you live?] in an apartment
[Occupation] adjunct professor
[4 words that sum you up] still awake at school

Describe your....

[Wallet] green, leather-ish (probably fake leather), I got it free
[Key holder] "Georgia on my mind"--reminds me of Atlanta where my friends are and of Designing Women, which is the coolest show ever
[Jewelry worn daily] I haven't been wearing any lately.
[Pillow cover] blue
[Coffee cup] my newest aquisitions have pictures of Garfield drinking coffee
[Shoes] Columbia sandles
[School bag] blue with holes in it :(
[Favorite shirt] my peach columbia shirts
[Favorite pants] a pair of jeans
[Cologne/Perfume] Bath and Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom
[Piercing] one in each ear
[What you are wearing now] green pants and a button-up shirt
[Hair] brown
[Makeup] none
[in my mouth] nothing
[In My Head] I'm hungry.
[Wish] to eat lunch
[Eating Habit] great when I cook, not so good when I don't
[Some of your favorite movies] Tipping the Velvet, But I'm a Cheerleader, D.E.B.S., Dead Poets Society, Grey Matters,
[Do you believe in love at first sight] Yes
[The last thing you ate?] salad last night
[Do you believe in love] Yes
[Do you believe in soul mates] Yes
[Do you believe in forgiveness] Yes
[Three cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?] Asheville, Atlanta, Seattle
[What are some of your favorite foods?] stuffed peppers, shish kabob, cheese tortellini with pesto

Yes or No...

[you keep a diary] just a blog currently. I have been a good journaler in the past. I just don't really want to right now.
[you have a secret you have not shared with anyone] probably, but I can't think of one right off. I'm pretty open about most things.
[you fold your underwear] no
[you talk in your sleep] I don't know.

Last...

[movie you bought] Superman Returns, Ice Age the Meltdown, and Happy Feet for my dad for Father's Day
[song you listened to] I don't remember
[song that was stuck in your head] I don't remember
[song you've downloaded] I’ve never downloaded a song, but I listened to Independent Women on youtube recently...
[CD you bought] Dixie Chicks Wide Open Spaces
[CD you listened to] Indigo Girls Indians Nomads Saints
[person you've called] my sister
[person who called you] bella
[TV show you've watched] Frasier
[Thing you said] Email it to me (to one of my students)

...or...

[Black or White?] black
[Cats or Dogs?] cats
[Tea or Coffee?] tea
[Achiever or Slacker?] depends on the day
[Leader or Follower?] neither
[Beer or Cider?] beer
[Drinks or Shots?] drinks
[Single or Taken?] single
[Matches or a Lighter?] matches
[Letters or Emails?] either
[Short hair or Long hair?] depends on the person

I want to...

[Go] home
[Kill] no one
[Hear from] a poetry contest I entered
[Meet] Mary Oliver
[Look like] Audrey Hepburn
[Avoid] awkward situations
[Hug] my cat
[Kiss] my cat

[Loved somebody so much it makes you cry?] yes
[Drank alcohol?] yes
[Done drugs?] no
[Broken the law?] no
[Ran away from home?] no
[Broken a bone?] no
[Cheated on a test?] no
[Played Truth Or Dare?] yes
[Flashed someone?] no
[Mooned Someone?] no
[Kissed someone you didn’t know?] no
[Been on a game show/talk show] no
[Been in a fight?] no
[Ridden in a fire truck?] yes
[Been on a plane?] yes
[Come close to dying?] sort of
[Gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride?] yes
[Swam in the ocean?] yes
[Had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up?] yes
[Kissed someone of the same sex] yes

Relationships...

[Girlfriend/Boyfriend] I would like one/no
[When and who was your 1st crush?] I remember really having a thing for my sixth grade teacher.
[What do you first notice about the opposite sex] I don't.
[Your idea of a perfect date] eating dinner and then taking a walk and looking at the stars
[Name a moment that you thought was really sweet] I was in a really awkward situation a few weeks ago that made me personally really uncomfortable. I got up and left and sat outside to wait for the people I was with, and my best friend came out and sat beside me. That meant more to me than she may ever know.
[Your first kiss] Janelle in my apartment complex parking lot
[Do you have a crush] kind of

Are you a...

[Vegetarian?] no.
[Good Student?] yes
[Good Singer?] I'm okay.
[A good Actor/Actress?] No.
[A deep sleeper?] yes
[A Good Dancer?] No.
[Shy?] Sort of.
[Outgoing?] not really

Today I found out that one of the residents of the interfaith homeless shelter died this week. The service for him is on Saturday. When he died, he was still homeless. It makes me incredibly angry when people die on the street. Where was the city when he needed help? Oh yes, they don't see the need in helping the homeless. They don't do a damn thing. Where were the Christians? Well, they have a shelter, but you know, they only take certain people, and this guy didn't qualify. Some Christians. The interfaith shelter, which for the record takes EVERYONE, will be reopening in October, and it will never be closing again. We finally have a permanent location. It's about time. In the meantime, please pray for Carl and his loved ones as they deal with his loss.

Independent Women

I heard this song again this weekend for the first time in years. I love it.

Happy Birthday, United Church of Christ!

My denomination is now 50 years old. Here are some reasons why I love my church:

1. Some of my favorite people are UCCers--Martha, Ed, Darlene, Donna, Kathleen, Theresa, Carol M., Carol G., Jane, and so many others.
2. It was the first church to ordain openly GLBT people.
3. They aired commercials that actually depicted acceptance of all people and ruffled feathers nationwide.
4. The music is awesome.
5. You don't have to join to be involved (although I recommend joining).
6. The UCC church worked closely with Cesar Chavez and the farmworker movement.
7. The UCC was the first to lead a national ministry for those with disabilities.
8. 75 percent of the time at least, the UCC church does not use a pronoun to refer to God. The other 25 percent of the time, they alternate between a male pronoun and a female pronoun.
9. The God is still speaking campaign.
10. They have an anti-war statement on their website, and you, too, can sign it.
11. In 2005, the UCC General Synod passed a resolution stating that same-sex couples should have equal marriage rights.
12. We vote on everything (and I do mean everything).
13. There is no hierarchy.
14. We get to sing the Hallalujah Chorus as a congregation every Easter as the benediction. It's incredibly joyful.
15. I feel okay wearing jeans to church.
16. My church took the lead in starting a homeless shelter where ALL are welcome in this city when the city itself turned its back. This shelter has now found a permanent home and will be open year-round. The city still has not gotten involved.
17. Our Earth Day service which actually provided practical information on how to live a life friendly to the planet and not just a service saying "My how the flowers are pretty this year."
18. We had an immigrants rights service this year.
19. We practice nonviolence.
20. We embrace other faiths and welcome learning from other faiths.
21. You don't have to believe anything in particular to fit in. You can come as you are and actually be accepted.
22. My church brings a banner to Pride and marches in the Pride Parade, then has a booth at Pride.
23. We pray for peace weekly at a special prayer service.
24. We believe that faith without action is dead.
25. We tend to gather wounded people that were shunned in other denominations and allow them a place to grow. We really do accept everybody.
26. It has become my home in what was once a strange city. I have felt nurtured and cared for there, and I like singing in the choir.

Visit a United Church of Christ near you :)

That's about right.

You scored as Cultural Creative, Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 88% Postmodernist 69% Idealist 50% Romanticist 38% Materialist 31% Modernist 31% Existentialist 25% Fundamentalist 6% What is Your World View? created with QuizFarm.com

What would you do?

I heard from my best friend from high school today. I haven't heard from her in years. She emailed me on myspace, where it says quite clearly that I am a lesbian. She sent me her blog address which had links to all of these anti-gay fundamentalist organizations. Part of me fears that if I get back in touch with her, she will bombard me with ex-gay shit (because she did in high school). Part of me also really cares about her and wants to know how she is doing. So what would you do? Would you get back in touch with her?

You Are Sunset

Even though you still may be young, you already feel like you've accomplished a lot in life. And you feel free to pave your own path now, and you're not even sure where it will take you. Maybe you'll pursue higher education in a subject you enjoy - or travel the world for a few years. Either way, you approach life with a relaxed, open attitude. And that will take you far!

What Time Of Day Are You?

Books

In the past two days, I have read three books written by lesbian poets: the women who hate me by Dorothy Allison, The Marvelous Arithmetics of Distance by Audre Lorde, and Coal by Audre Lorde. Lorde and Allison talk about sexuality and class in very different ways. Allison is much more harsh and crass than Lorde is. While Lorde talks about similar issues, she does so in a much more gentle and poetic way. Where Allison talks about dildos, "cuntsucking," and fucking, Lorde alludes only to the scent of her lover left on her fingers. Where Allison gives very brutal images of poverty and violence, Lorde is much more gentle with similar ideas. Both also express discomfort in conforming to the traditional female role of housewife, Lorde with sarcasm and Allison with examples of women trapped in a role. At any rate, I recommend all three books.

I have been fascinated by how lesbian poets express their sexuality since my first semester of graduate school when one of my major professors gave me a stack of books by lesbian poets and told me I needed to learn to express my sexuality in my writing without fear. There was quite a variety in that stack of books in how sexuality was expressed. Some were very direct and allowed their sexuality to play a large role in their work. Some kept their sexuality as a much smaller part of their work and concentrated on other issues. It was fascinating. While I was intimidated at first by the idea of allowing my sexuality to influence my work, I have become much more comfortable with it. I am always negotiating how much I want it to influence my work, however. I think it just depends on what I'm writing. I have found that a lot of my personal essays and fiction revolves around my sexuality in that some of the most profound struggles in my life have revolved around my sexuality. How could I not write about that? My poetry, however, while influenced by my sexuality certainly, is less directly tied to that aspect of myself. I find that fascinating, and I have no idea why that is the case.

Falwell

http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/05/051507falwell.htm

Gay Foe Falwell Dead 
by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff 

(Lynchburg, Virginia) The Rev. Jerry Falwell died Tuesday. He was 73.

[snip]

Falwell, the founder of the Moral Majority and Liberty University, had a long history of opposing gay rights.

In 1976 he, along with Anita Bryant, led the charge against gay adoption in Florida leading to the most repressive anti-gay adoption law in the US.  

Following the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington in 2001 Falwell declared that gays and pro choice advocates were to blame.

Speaking on the 700 Club religious program Falwell said, "The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen'."

In 2003 Falwell announced that he was putting aside everything to devote his time to passage of a federal constitutional ban on gay marriage.

"I am dedicating my talents, time and energies over the next few years to the passage of an amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which will protect the traditional family from its enemies who wish to legalize same-sex marriage and other diverse "family" forms," Falwell said.

In the 2004 election campaign he worked with Republicans to use same-sex marriage as a wedge issue. 

A week after the November election he announced he was organizing battle plans for what he called an "evangelical revolution." Falwell said that the election showed that Americans want to return to "traditional values". 

He promised to roll back gay rights laws in communities across the country.

“Reverend Falwell’s death today causes my thoughts to turn toward the members of our community who have at great personal sacrifice contended with the Reverend’s work and teachings," said Human Rights Campaign president Joe Solmonese.

"As I remember Reverend Falwell’s life, I also remember all of the families of people who have died of AIDS,” said Solmonese.

"Reverend Falwell’s legacy is not about the tenants of Jesus’ ministry such as healing the sick and standing with the disenfranchised but about shunning and ridiculing those who have suffered and died of AIDS and their families.  Many faith leaders today are moving away from his divisive approach and toward the compassion and inclusiveness that Jesus modeled every day of his ministry.”

Poetry

It has been just barely over a year since I graduated with my MFA in poetry. Since then, I have not read much poetry other than what I had to read to keep up with my teaching. I also have not written much. I think I was really burnt out. The last week or so, I have started craving poetry again. I spent a good while this evening reading poetry. I bought several poetry books at a used bookstore even. I have a stack of poetry books that I want to read this summer. I haven't been this excited about poetry in a while, and it's wonderful.

I ask for very little in this life. Being treated like I matter by people who matter to me is very little to ask.

Learning

"We teach people how to treat us."
--my counselor

Lately, I have been working on setting boundaries. This is a really hard thing for me to do. When things bother me, I very rarely am able to say that things are not okay. My counselor says I kind of play the role of a doormat a lot of times because I just have trouble speaking up when things are bothering me. I just assume, for whatever reason, that I deserve whatever is bothering me and that I don't deserve better. My goal has now become to speak up when things aren't okay. It's hard, it pushes me way out of my comfort zone, and sometimes it pisses people off. It's also very revealing sometimes, and it has made me think very hard out of what I want out of all of my relationships (friends, family, partners, whatever). This is huge and important for me. I don't think I've ever listened so closely to what it is that I am feeling. I figure this learning is a good thing.

Survey

1. Who were you with last night?
just me

2. What woke you up this morning?
the sun

3. Where are you?
my parents' house

4. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
I hope so. I'm going to see my sister's graduation.

5. Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
nope

6. When was the last time you cried?
I don't know.

-The PAST-

7. Ever thrown up in public?
yes.

8. Passed out because of alcohol?
never

9. Who's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
Bella.

10. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
yes

11. Where would you like to live?
I really don't know. Not my hometown. I'm open to just about anywhere else.

12. What kind of home would you like?
a peaceful, happy place. I'd also like a porch and a yard.

14. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
teaching college with a book published. hopefully married, contemplating children.

- ON MYSPACE -

16. Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
yes

17. Who was the last person that left you a comment?
the fabulous Bella

- IN GENERAL -


20. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something?
Actually, I can't remember, but I run into things quite frequently. Which is probably why I can't remember.

21. Do you listen to music everyday?
yes

23. What was the last thing you ate?
popcorn at Judy's.

24. Are you a fast typist?
Yes.

25. About how many people have you liked?
that's very broad. I have liked lots of people, you know, friends, family, cats...

26. What are you doing this weekend?
going to my sister's graduation.

27. What’s your favorite type of SODA?
I don't drink soda

28. Whats your LEAST favorite SODA?
Mountain Dew.

29. Have you ever won an award?
yes

30. What is your favorite sound?
treefrogs

31. Are you listening to music right now?
not at the moment, actually, but I was just a bit ago.

33. What’s a quote that you love?
"Some days I walk in flowers. Some days I walk on stone. Today I walk in hours. Someday I shall be home." from a k.d. lang song but she didn't write it.

34. How long 'til your birthday?
Several months. November 27th.

35. When were you the saddest in your whole life?
Thanksgiving week the year my ex and I broke up. It was hell.

36. What time is it?
late

37. What time do you want it to be?
uh, now is fine.

38. What makes you mad?
arrogance

39. Have you ever had a song written about you?
no

41. What song(s) make(s) you happy?
"Closer to Fine" by Emily Saliers, "Teen Lament" by Michelle Malone, "World Falls" by Amy Ray

42. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
nothing in particular. Sometimes PBS.

43. Do you have a job?
yes

44. Do you shower before bed or the next morning (Or both)?
before bed often, but sometimes both.

45. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
blue

46. What makes you happy?
sunshine, being in nature, watching my cat frisk around, going to the library, hanging out with Bella

47. What’s the next CD you're gonna get?
I have a list. Amy Ray just came out with a new one, though, so maybe that one. The last one that caught my eye was The Best of Kansas, though.

48. Name one of your favorite songs.
"World Falls" by Amy Ray

49. Do you have a crush on anyone right now?
yes. she's known it for a while. I'm waiting for her.

50. Are you taller than your sibling(s)?
yes. I'm not taller than many people, but I am taller than my sister.

1. I love... my cat.
2. Right now I want... to feel better about the world.
3. I feel like... a depressed person.
4. I hate it when... people don't keep their word.
5. I fear... rejection.
6. I'm lonely without... my cat.
7. I need... help getting the odor out of my carpet.
8. Today I... had lunch with Tishie.
9. Tomorrow I'm... going to a counseling appointment.
10. I just... graded some papers.
11. I want to meet... Amy Ray.
12. I'm hungry for... Basque food.
13. I love it when... there are lots of dandelions.
14. I'm afraid of... the cat food recall.
15. I'm listening to... my cat rustle through the blinds and chirp at the creatures outside.
16. I'm wearing... pajamas
17. I wish I was in... France.
18. I'm craving... mushrooms.
19. I want to... go to Ireland.
20. I can... give feedback on poems very quickly.
21. I can't ... read student essays with any speed.
22. I have... to buy some cat food.
23. I haven't... talked to Josh in a while.
24. I'm nervous... about my poetry class not happening this summer.
25. My Mom thinks I'm... a good teacher.
26. My Dad thinks I'm... happy.
27. I think... I need to go to bed.
28. I'm happy when... I am around people who are always the same. That's what I like most about my best friends. They're always the same. We can go six months without talking, and when we do finally talk, it's like it was yesterday. I like that.
29. I'm sad when... people are mean.
30. I like eating... just about anything.
31. I hate eating... tuna.
32. I love watching... Will and Grace.
33. I love listening... to treefrogs.
34. I like playing... cards.
35. I hate waking up to... James Dobson blathering on about stupid shit.
36. I can see... my clover plant.
37. I'm glad that... I will have such a fun poetry class this fall.
38. I'm disappointed... that my rent is going up.
39. I look like... my mother.
40. I wish I looked like... well, I wish I had my grandmother's eyes. My sister got them.

Weary

I'm so very tired. That is all.

Some Dreams

I made a list some years back of things I wanted to do in my life. I have done nearly all of them, with the exception of meeting Anne Lamott and reading all of the Harry Potter books. The latter will be accomplished when the final book is released this summer. With the list so near completion, I thought that it was time for a new one.

Some Dreams:

The obvious ones first:
1. Find a partner
2. Have some kids

The perhaps less obvious dreams:
3. Go to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival
4. Meet Anne Lamott
5. Meet the Indigo Girls
6. Adopt another cat or possibly two
7. Buy a house
8. Grow a garden
9. Go to Ireland and stand on the coast where my ancestors left from to come here
10. Go to Greece and see the remains of the early church
11. Find the family cemetery (it's overgrown now)
12. Join the teacher's union
13. Buy one of those fabulous round chairs
14. Learn basic car maintenance
15. Get my book published
16. Visit Powell's Books in person
17. Speak about being gay and Christian at my undergraduate school
18. Learn Italian
19. Learn to kayak
20. Teach a Chicana literature course
21. Study liberation theology in school
22. Meet Mary Oliver and tell her how much her work has meant to me
23. Go to Temuco, Chile and walk where Mistral and Neruda walked
24. Hike between the Cinque Terre towns
25. Take my sister to London for a couple of weeks and see a show every night and drink cream tea every day
26. Visit Josh overseas
27. Travel with Judith

That's one for every year of my life thuse far. It should keep me busy for the next few years :)