1. I love... my cat.
2. Right now I want... to feel better about the world.
3. I feel like... a depressed person.
4. I hate it when... people don't keep their word.
5. I fear... rejection.
6. I'm lonely without... my cat.
7. I need... help getting the odor out of my carpet.
8. Today I... had lunch with Tishie.
9. Tomorrow I'm... going to a counseling appointment.
10. I just... graded some papers.
11. I want to meet... Amy Ray.
12. I'm hungry for... Basque food.
13. I love it when... there are lots of dandelions.
14. I'm afraid of... the cat food recall.
15. I'm listening to... my cat rustle through the blinds and chirp at the creatures outside.
16. I'm wearing... pajamas
17. I wish I was in... France.
18. I'm craving... mushrooms.
19. I want to... go to Ireland.
20. I can... give feedback on poems very quickly.
21. I can't ... read student essays with any speed.
22. I have... to buy some cat food.
23. I haven't... talked to Josh in a while.
24. I'm nervous... about my poetry class not happening this summer.
25. My Mom thinks I'm... a good teacher.
26. My Dad thinks I'm... happy.
27. I think... I need to go to bed.
28. I'm happy when... I am around people who are always the same. That's what I like most about my best friends. They're always the same. We can go six months without talking, and when we do finally talk, it's like it was yesterday. I like that.
29. I'm sad when... people are mean.
30. I like eating... just about anything.
31. I hate eating... tuna.
32. I love watching... Will and Grace.
33. I love listening... to treefrogs.
34. I like playing... cards.
35. I hate waking up to... James Dobson blathering on about stupid shit.
36. I can see... my clover plant.
37. I'm glad that... I will have such a fun poetry class this fall.
38. I'm disappointed... that my rent is going up.
39. I look like... my mother.
40. I wish I looked like... well, I wish I had my grandmother's eyes. My sister got them.

Weary

I'm so very tired. That is all.

Some Dreams

I made a list some years back of things I wanted to do in my life. I have done nearly all of them, with the exception of meeting Anne Lamott and reading all of the Harry Potter books. The latter will be accomplished when the final book is released this summer. With the list so near completion, I thought that it was time for a new one.

Some Dreams:

The obvious ones first:
1. Find a partner
2. Have some kids

The perhaps less obvious dreams:
3. Go to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival
4. Meet Anne Lamott
5. Meet the Indigo Girls
6. Adopt another cat or possibly two
7. Buy a house
8. Grow a garden
9. Go to Ireland and stand on the coast where my ancestors left from to come here
10. Go to Greece and see the remains of the early church
11. Find the family cemetery (it's overgrown now)
12. Join the teacher's union
13. Buy one of those fabulous round chairs
14. Learn basic car maintenance
15. Get my book published
16. Visit Powell's Books in person
17. Speak about being gay and Christian at my undergraduate school
18. Learn Italian
19. Learn to kayak
20. Teach a Chicana literature course
21. Study liberation theology in school
22. Meet Mary Oliver and tell her how much her work has meant to me
23. Go to Temuco, Chile and walk where Mistral and Neruda walked
24. Hike between the Cinque Terre towns
25. Take my sister to London for a couple of weeks and see a show every night and drink cream tea every day
26. Visit Josh overseas
27. Travel with Judith

That's one for every year of my life thuse far. It should keep me busy for the next few years :)

The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don't flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing

--Galway Kinnell