As I mention sometimes on here, I volunteer regularly at the interfaith homeless shelter in town. It has been a hard fall there. Since the end of September, we have lost five of our guests. One, in particular, I knew quite well. His name was Terrance, although I always addressed him as Mr. His Last Name. It just seemed right to do that. Mr. F had been at the shelter for as long as I can remember. He spent many a night in what we call the "drunk tank," or "inner sanctum" in more polite terms, not because he was drunk but because he was occasionally drunk and could not cope with changing the location of his sleeping place on the nights when he did need to be in the drunk tank. It was just easier on him to sleep there all the time. Mr. F would also get very upset if, in their drunken unawareness, one of the other men in the room would inadvertently roll into his traditional spot. He could not cope with sleeping in a place other than the one he always slept in. For those familiar with Aspberger's, this should be a familiar symptom. I always had a fondness for Mr. F because he reminded me a little bit of my cousin, who has Aspberger's, as well. I never knew Mr. F's story. I never asked. I find people will tell me if they want me to know. Many do. I received an email earlier this week from the director of the shelter. In it, she talked about the five men who have died, and I was startled and saddened to see Mr. F's name on the list. I have since found out that he died a very tragic and unnecessary death, the kind that keeps me coming back to the shelter because it is the only thing I can do to keep it from happening again. Tomorrow, I will be attending Mr. F's funeral as conducted by the non-homeless community, which will be very different from the one next week conducted by those who knew and appreciated Mr. F. Since I will not be in town for the second funeral, I am going to the first. I wonder if I will see his family there. I wonder if he had any family. I wonder what we could have done differently to keep him off of the street in the first place. Most of all, I wonder what we will do now. There is often much talk of change within the community after a tragedy like this. It never lasts long. My prayer is that this time, the conversation will not end.
Here & Now
by Mark Erelli
Cobblestone pillow
Newspaper sheets
Ten below zero
Sleeping on the street
Someday we all will have a home
A place to come in from the cold
Somewhere so high above the clouds
Why not here
Why not now
Pastures of plenty
For the tired and poor
Still too many hands empty
Behind the golden door
Someday we all will live the dream
There'll be no cracks to fall between
Somewhere where everyone will have enough
But here and now
It's up to us
Someday we all will be at peace
And all of our suffering will cease
There's more than enough to go around
Why not here
Why not now
Rest in peace, Mr. F. May you be the last to die on the street.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
How many texts are in your inbox?
none
Who was the first person you talked to today?
Zoe (this is what I'm going to call my girl)
Have you ever dated a soccer player?
nope
Do you tell your mom everything?
no
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
probably
Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
No! I'm in love with her.
Do you delete people off your MySpace?
no
What are your initials?
VE
When was your last encounter with the police?
um, I saw a police car on the way home?
Do you like your name?
yes
Do you care if your socks are dirty?
um, yes
How many windows are open on your computer?
nine
How tall are you?
5'3"
Which one of your cousins is closest to you in age?
Susan
Will you be in a relationship next month?
I sure hope so :) I'm planning on it. I love her an awful lot :)
Love really is a beautiful thing, huh?
yes
How are you feeling at this exact moment?
a bit worried about Zoe. She is feeling sick this evening. And tired. We're both tired, I think.
What's the connection between you and the last person you text?
I don't text.
What does your hair look like today?
clean? I didn't do much else with it.
Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
probably
How long does it take you to shower?
15 minutes or so
If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
I would go visit Zoe and make sure she is okay.
Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
yes, just recently
Who is the last person that called you?
Zoe
What if you had a baby with the last person of the opposite sex you hugged?
that would be weird. he's 70, and we're both gay.
Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
yes. I'm in a relationship with her right now.
Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
either way
Do you hate the last person you kissed?
no!
Have you ever been depressed?
yes
Are you any good at math?
yes
When was the last time you had starbucks?
Saturday
Anything you want to ask someone?
probably
Where were you last night at midnight?
sleeping
Have you lost friends in the past year?
I hope not.
Who do you tell everything to?
Zoe and my sister
What are you feeling right now?
tired
Are you missing someone?
Zoe
Do you wear your feelings all over your face?
probably
Is there a guy that knows everything about you?
no. Josh knows me best, though.
Do you like surprises?
yes!
Do people underestimate you?
sometimes. they assume that quiet equals slow.
Do you hate being alone?
sometimes
In the past week have you felt sad?
I've been incredibly happy the last week or so.
Last person you texted?
don't text
What are you listening to?
Golden Girls
Name something that made you frown today:
Zoe being sick. I hope she feels better soon.
Did you give anyone a dirty look today?
once
Do/did you do good in school?
yes
If you could pack up and move, would you?
in with Zoe? yes.
When's the last time you said you were fine, but really weren't?
a few weeks ago.
What person annoys you most?
not really any one person that comes to mind.
none
Who was the first person you talked to today?
Zoe (this is what I'm going to call my girl)
Have you ever dated a soccer player?
nope
Do you tell your mom everything?
no
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
probably
Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
No! I'm in love with her.
Do you delete people off your MySpace?
no
What are your initials?
VE
When was your last encounter with the police?
um, I saw a police car on the way home?
Do you like your name?
yes
Do you care if your socks are dirty?
um, yes
How many windows are open on your computer?
nine
How tall are you?
5'3"
Which one of your cousins is closest to you in age?
Susan
Will you be in a relationship next month?
I sure hope so :) I'm planning on it. I love her an awful lot :)
Love really is a beautiful thing, huh?
yes
How are you feeling at this exact moment?
a bit worried about Zoe. She is feeling sick this evening. And tired. We're both tired, I think.
What's the connection between you and the last person you text?
I don't text.
What does your hair look like today?
clean? I didn't do much else with it.
Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
probably
How long does it take you to shower?
15 minutes or so
If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
I would go visit Zoe and make sure she is okay.
Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
yes, just recently
Who is the last person that called you?
Zoe
What if you had a baby with the last person of the opposite sex you hugged?
that would be weird. he's 70, and we're both gay.
Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
yes. I'm in a relationship with her right now.
Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
either way
Do you hate the last person you kissed?
no!
Have you ever been depressed?
yes
Are you any good at math?
yes
When was the last time you had starbucks?
Saturday
Anything you want to ask someone?
probably
Where were you last night at midnight?
sleeping
Have you lost friends in the past year?
I hope not.
Who do you tell everything to?
Zoe and my sister
What are you feeling right now?
tired
Are you missing someone?
Zoe
Do you wear your feelings all over your face?
probably
Is there a guy that knows everything about you?
no. Josh knows me best, though.
Do you like surprises?
yes!
Do people underestimate you?
sometimes. they assume that quiet equals slow.
Do you hate being alone?
sometimes
In the past week have you felt sad?
I've been incredibly happy the last week or so.
Last person you texted?
don't text
What are you listening to?
Golden Girls
Name something that made you frown today:
Zoe being sick. I hope she feels better soon.
Did you give anyone a dirty look today?
once
Do/did you do good in school?
yes
If you could pack up and move, would you?
in with Zoe? yes.
When's the last time you said you were fine, but really weren't?
a few weeks ago.
What person annoys you most?
not really any one person that comes to mind.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Happiness
I have met the girl of my dreams. I have been chatting with her online and on the phone for about three months. I met her in person last weekend. She's amazing, and she's beautiful. She is smart and kind and compassionate. She wants the same things in life that I do. I think she's the one. We have quirky things in common, like the fact that we both like to take walks in cemeteries. And she makes up ridiculous far-fetched stories about her cats, just like I do. And she has for years, not just since she met me. She laughs a lot, too, which is so nice. I haven't ever dated anyone who is so passionate and hilarious. We are officially in a relationship. I don't think I have ever been so happy. She even sent me flowers yesterday. Those who I know in real life are welcome to request pictures and/or details.
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